Joyful Solutions

Dreams and Lemons

2010-08-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

People often ask me what it is I do as a life coach. And I tell them that I support people in making their dreams become reality. And I also help them deal with lemons. You know, those unexpected "gifts" that we are given in life. With some coaching, people will find the way to create lemonade. Or lemon meringue pie!

Recently, I made just this same statement to a group only to shortly thereafter find myself facing my own dreams and my own bushel of lemons. An avid scuba diver, my dream has been to have a Seminar at Sea, a workshop on a cruise ship, combining the two passions in my life - working with others and oceanic adventures.

Last year I was introduced to a woman who was a cruise planner and her dream was similar to mine. She was looking for speakers and over the course of several weeks, we designed a wonderful cruise package for October. After marketing this cruise to my family and friends, I recently found out that my cruise planner was no longer in business. Suddenly I noticed a fresh lemon scent pervading... sometimes life has a way of having you reassess your dream. I was very disappointed and concerned at how I was going to create a new cruise, tell the participants who had already registered the news, notify the speakers that had committed to the dates, and worried about dates and unknown new costs. Suddenly I felt I had a huge basket of lemons. My daughter reminded me of the universal truth that as we approach our dreams, our willingness will be tested. I consistently tell my clients to prepare for their dream to be threatened and coach them on how to find their truth so that they can overcome the challenges when they arise. My daughter asked what was my truth? Did I still have the desire? The willingness? Was the importance on THAT particular cruise or succeeding in the cultivation of a Seminar at Sea. My daughter got me grounded!

I always say that when one door closes another one opens. And with the help of a friend, who gave me the name of her family's travel planner, I discovered that my cruise was in the middle of hurricane season! And, that for less money than the cost of the original cruise which was only 4 days, I could offer a 7 day cruise in January to Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, and Cabo on a new cruise ship. I watched my lemons turn into lemonade!

I am so grateful to the participants and speakers who were gracefully flexible and willingly changed their schedules to accommodate this change. We now have time to make this an even more spectacular trip. An opportunity to share my love of the sea, while offering a time for people to relax, renew, reconnect and Celebrate Life.

Stay tuned for more updates. We're planning something very special for you! Clear your calendar for January 16th, Sunday to Sunday. These new rates make it affordable for couples. For less than a $1000 a couple can take a 7 day cruise! Rates as low as $560 that includes seminar and workshops. We have a special workshop for couples and everyone who wants to improve their relationships. It's loaded with insights into how to understand the opposite sex and be able to effectively communicate with them. And it's fun, too! Plus we have a roster of fabulous speakers to empower and inspire.

Interested in becoming a vendor or sponsor? Give me a call!

Zappers & Juicers!

2010-01-27T09:33:00.001-08:00

I took a relationship course several years ago and the couple who taught the course taught the women how to be "juicy" with their men; how to empower the men to get them to do what the women wanted.

Considering the results that this produced, I was curious on what I could do to "juice" my Self! What could I do so that I could get done what I wanted during the day without feeling so exhausted at the end of the day. I discovered that I had developed habits that directly affected my energy level and my results. In her book, "Soul Coaching", Denise Linn talks about the importance of being aware of your 'energy'.

There are people and patterns that deplete or "zap" your energy and there are people or places that uplift or "juice" your energy. When you identify the Zappers and the Juicers you can expand their presence in your life.

If something or someone is an energy Zapper, take action today to eliminate or minimize this from your life. Sometimes we can eliminate a Zapper just with a change of attitude. Maya Angelou's wisdom is,"If you don't like something, change it. It you can't change it, change your attitude." And when you change your attitude, the thing itself will change.

If you know that there is something or someone who "Juices" you, uplifts your spirit, raises your energy, makes you laugh, leaves you feeling better about Who You Are, take action to increase their presence in your life. And attract more people like them to you.

Identify your energy Zappers!

An energy Zapper is anything that lowers your energy and thus decreases your life force. We often become so accustomed to living with these Zappers that we are not even conscious of their effect on us. They become habits.   Just becoming aware of them will diminish their power. Start today by being aware of what brings your energy down. Stephen Cherniski, a leading biochemist and authority on longevity states, "Energy is the currency of Life". We die when we have no more energy. Make a Zapper List!

Identify what Juices your energy!

It is equally important to discover or remember those things that uplift your energy. Sometimes, these are the little "joyful moments" that we can give ourselves, like taking a bath with essential oils, working on a hobby, sharing a great glass of wine with someone special, walking the dog, lighting candles, or snuggling under the covers with a good book. When you reflect on these times, places, activities, or people, you will notice yourself smiling and feeling good inside. These are the Juicers! Be aware of the positive effects they have on your life. Make sure you have a healthy dose of positive Juice everyday! Make a Juicer List!

Commit to eliminate one Zapper and Increase one Juicer!

List the relationships that you have in your life right now. Who do you relate to on a regular basis? This list might include family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, those people you see and deal with frequently.

List the things that you relate to on a regular basis. Your list might include your car, food, computer, phone, shopping, child's school, homework, housework, television, gym, or work.

In his book, "Power vs. Force", Dr. David R. Hawkins details how anyone may resolve the most crucial of all human dilemmas: how to instantly determine the truth or falsehood of any statement or supposed fact. The proposition that Dr. Hawkins presents in this book"...the human mind is like a computer terminal connected to a giant database. The database is human consciousness itself...with its roots in the common consciousness of all mankind...The unlimited information contained in the database has now been shown to be readily available to anyone in a few seconds, at any time and in any place." Using "kinesiological testing" he was able to demonstrate that an individual can respond to anything with a "negative" or "positive" response. What are you responding to negatively?

Notice how you feel about each relationship and activity. Choose to increase the Juicers and reduces the Zappers. There are some situations and people that are difficult to eliminate from your life.   We may have family members or a co-worker who are Zappers! Remember Maya Angelou's wise words, we do have the power to choose our attitude and our response to them.

Replace "Should" with "Could"!

A "should" is a Zapper. Self-criticism is the biggest Zapper of all. Is it your "should" or did it come from someone or somewhere else?

"Could" is a Juicer. It implies choice. Choice is always empowering. Transform the "should" with a "could" and add, "I choose not to at this time." For example, "I 'should' respond to every e-mail I get immediately", becomes, "I 'could' respond to every e-mail I get immediately, and I choose not to at this time."

What is your truth? The truth is you probably could respond to every e-mail right away, however, you choose not to. "Should" implies guilt (major Zapper), so when you truly take responsibility for your actions, you gain freedom by telling your Self the truth (major Juicer).

Watch out for the Zappers! Honor your Self by surrounding your Self with Juicers! Live a very "Juicy" and joyful life through many "joyful moments".

The Importance of Coaching

2010-01-21T22:57:00.000-08:00

I was personally trained and mentored by Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, who is the founder of MMS Institute and considered the "Mother of Coaching". After taking a two day course that she was offering in Santa Barbara, CA several years ago, I left knowing that what she did I wanted to learn how to do. It was magical and it was profound.

A few years prior to me taking the Inner Negotiation Workshop, a friend of mine, who I happened to be coaching, suggested I meet her friend, Dr. Cherie. She shared with me that she had taken this very unusual course from her that she had great difficulty describing! What she was able to share is that she liked the results that she created from the course. And she said that I needed to meet this amazing woman. A couple of years went by before our mutual friend put us together. And, after meeting her, I couldn't wait to experience the workshop and enrolled in the first one available.

What I experienced was professional coaching. The art of asking questions and listening. The art of suspending judgment. The ability to hold the space and allowing the Coachee to go within to find answers to difficult questions. To feel heard and validated. And magically, to be empowered by the discovery that I had my own answers. I wasn't advised, there was no knowing and telling. However, during the two days, I experienced inner discoveries that led to strategies and resolutions guiding me to an inner peace and a sense of self acceptance.

I am now a MMS Certifed Coach and MMS Licensee, I produce and present several of Dr. Cherie's programs and a few of my own. And I use the MMS Methodology to coach and mentor my clients. This method can be described as cognitive behavioral therapy, however, as a coach, I do sessions with clients, not patients. Dr. Cherie wrote, "There is a need for coaching. We live in stressful, complex times. We are bombarded by more stimulation than ever before in history. The stimulation comes in the form of visuals: billboards, advertising, newspapers, magazines, television, DVDs, video games, the internet, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, it is inescapable. And then there is the noise, the radio, TV, street traffic, the sounds that we struggle to tune out. For the most part when stimuli bombard us, the messages tell us to buy something, do something, or go somewhere. The messages indicate that we would be happier and our lives would improve if we did something different from what we are currently doing."

On top of the this barrage of stimuli, we also have to contend with the daily tasks that we face that require our immediate attention and response. We have less and less time to process information. We have high expectations of ourselves and operate under the false belief that we can handle the stress. We become numb to our own feelings, our own messages, our own dreams. As the stress becomes greater, the more we become confused, doubtful, uncertain, and our anxiety level rises. We look outward for answers and solutions. We suddenly lack confidence to make decisions without taking a survey. We go into overwhelm.
This is the condition that has given rise to the need for coaching.

In the Coach Training Program, we identify 12 important reasons for having a coach:

Bridging the Gap - this is building the bridge from where you are to where you want to be. I support you in getting from "I can't" to "I can".
Starting each year with Focus - January is the perfect time to set up a coaching session to help you determine your goals and intentions for the year. Without goals, it's easy to get confused on where to focus our energy. After you have determined your goals then I can support you in creating a strategy for success.
Act as a Sounding Board - I help you externalize your thoughts and feelings regarding your goals. I encourage you when you get discouraged or impatient. And I help you track your progress. We often focus on what didn't work and ignore our wins.
Mirroring - I act as a mirror for you, allowing you to see what you may be ignoring or help you see other perspectives.
Believe in You - I believe that people who feel good about who they are produce better results. And people who believe in themselves are much more likely to make their dreams come true.
Getting Back on Your Feet - When you're going through a disappointment, disillusionment, or rejection, I support you to see the lessons and the blessings and break through the blocks.
Facing Crossroads - Sometimes it's difficult to make difficult decisions; I help you sort through all the options so that you can make the best choice.
Hold You Accountable - I make sure that you are acknowledging the good that you do, that you do not take yourself for granted, and that you do what you say you are going to do.
Embarking on the Next Chapter - you may be at a place where you are ready to make some major changes in your life. Whether it's a new career or a new relationship, I help you sort out what is in your best interest.
Examining Unrealized Dreams - What becomes of unfulfilled goals? I help you discover the lessons so that you can move on and grow from everything that happens to you.
Validation and Recognition - It's important to have at least one person in your corner. Someone who you can speak your truth to, share your fears and concerns with, discuss your goals, etc. without fear of judgment or ridicule. As your Coach, I'm your Silent Partner.
Overcoming Fears - It's difficult to get past deep seated fears alone. With a coach, you have support, understanding and the knowledge that you are not alone, that you have someone who deeply cares about your happiness and success in life. My goal as your Coach is that you reach the age of 80 having done whatever it is you wanted to do so that you can look back on your life and smile, with zero regrets.

Great Intentions Based on Gratitude!

2010-01-06T01:00:00.001-08:00

Where do you want to go?

Where have you been?

Before you set goals and intentions for 2010, before you accomplish anything, it’s important to celebrate how far you came in 2009.

Did you toast the New Year in with a “Whew, I’m glad that this year is over!”? Did you take the time to celebrate what you accomplished?

Take time to look back.

What did you accomplish?

What are you proud of?

And most importantly - what are you grateful for? (Because gratitude not only feels good - it generates growth.)

Exercise #1: The Past

Create your 2009 Celebration!

Health & Lifestyle

(What changes did you create that promoted personal growth and experience?)

Relationships

(What new relationships did you create? What losses did you overcome?)

Finance, Business & Career

(What challenges did you overcome? What did you change in order to grow? What new marketing ideas did you try?)

By reviewing your accomplishments you’ll be acknowledging your SELF. And it’s that feeling good about what you’ve done that will propel you to want to continue moving forward in 2010.

Remember; where there is gratitude and appreciation, there is growth. It's critical to chew and swallow what you've received this year, before asking for more.

If you find yourself judging your achievements - good! This is an opportunity to look deeper at what you can be grateful for. AND - to light the fire in your belly to really make 2010 count.

Exercise #2: The Future

Create your 2010 Celebration!

Write a Vivid Vision Statement about what you want to be celebrating on New Year’s Eve 2010. Think about the three areas of your life:

Health & Lifestyle

Relationships

Finance, Business & Career

What are the accomplishments, experiences, challenges, adventures, etc. that you want to list?

Imagine everything that you want HAPPENING. Taste it, see it, smell it, feel it. See yourself on December 31th looking back over this year in amazement on what you have done, what you have, and most importantly, how you FEEL.

What are the most important things that you did or changed, eliminated, or attained to feel that way? List those things, no matter how big or small, for that’s what you have determined that makes your life worthwhile.

If December 31^st was your LAST DAY, what would you want to have accomplished by that date? Those are your New Year’s Resolutions!

Exercise #3 – Risk

Post your list on your blog, Facebook, web site – share with your friends. Ask your friends to share their Resolutions with you. Support each other. Share your wins and acknowledge when you’re challenged.

And when you’re challenged, re-read your Vivid Vision Statement to remind yourself of how you want to feel and know that you can have what you want. You simply have to see it, feel it, believe that you can, and ask for it. Oh, the hard part, you also have to be unattached to the outcome! (KNOW that what manifests will be for your best and highest good.)

Final Thought –

Give yourself crystal-clear directions.

Keep yourself motivated.

Make your environment support your change.